Peace & Perspective

Living in Peace by having the right perspective. Peace – ˈpēs Noun: Freedom from strife; a state of tranquillity or serenity. Perspective – per·spec·tive – pərˈspektiv – Noun: A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.


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Personality Tests

I’m an INFJ.

Because my mind has been overwhelmingly boggled for the past four years dealing with some of the most insane conflicts I’ve ever been a part of with one individual, notice I said, one individual, I often ask myself, “could it be me?” I have questioned my behavior, my motives, and my intentions over and over again, second guessing who I actually am. I mean, I know who I am, who I’ve always been, what I stand for, and what I don’t like the back of my hand. I’ve been this person for half a century. However, an emotionally and mentally unstable individual has an insidious power to place incredible doubt in the minds of even the most stable people. Unknowingly, I absorbed many of the false accusations and the now crystal clear and evident projections onto myself. I even questioned my own logic which I derive from society’s norm of what a healthy relationship is: common courtesy, mutual respect, accountability, empathy, and basic human kindness.

I started asking myself if I were the things that were so brutally projected onto me. It consumed me. It made me paranoid, especially around others. I became so very quiet and careful to not say the wrong things. If I did say things, I’d over analyze them wondering if I offended anyone. If I thought I had, I’d go out of my way to explain myself. I gave someone who has a history of chaos and turmoil and broken and divided relationships the power to mentally and emotionally wound me to the point where I didn’t even know myself. The lies circled in my head. I became overly sensitive to criticism fearing I was yet again at fault and failing those around me.

There was one (among many) hurtful false accusation that left me wondering who I am.  “Do I over-talk people? Do I interrupt? Do I not listen?” Today, I can confidently and boldly answer, “No, I do not!

I’ve been told by many that I am a great listener and I offer incredible advice. Friends have confided great personal issues with me and sought my advice because they have told me that due to my inspirational nature on how I’ve gracefully and triumphantly handled past trials, they value my opinion. These “friends” are in greater number than just one individual’s warped opinion of me.

I soon came to learn and understand that my “over-talking” my “interrupting,” and my “not listening” translated to, “I don’t want to hear anything from you while I’m in the process of bullying you, verbally abusing you, personally attacking you, and controlling the circular conversation going nowhere. If you shut it down by any dialogue whatsoever by trying to reason with me, disagree with me or attempt to interject any civility then I will lose control. Do you understand that when you speak, it takes away from my time to demean and belittle you and I risk you exposing my nonsense? You must understand that I must be in control and show you how powerful I am and the only way to do this is by being abusive and blaming you for everything so I accuse you of over-talking me and interrupting me so you will be terrified to speak any further and then I once again can have total and complete control over you, the conversation and the situation.”

So, a few days ago, out of curiosity and to dismiss any doubt in my mind as to who I am, I googled “personality tests” and took a few. Each time, my tests results confirmed I was an INFJ. This stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

I became intrigued with finding out what exactly this means and have read countless articles. To my delight, I found out I am indeed a caring, loving, nurturing person. In fact, the INFJ is known as “The Counselor.”  Some character traits about INFJ’s are:

While our character is complex and we only make up less than 2% of the population, we are strong humanitarians. We are idealists, doers, and dreamers. Our rare combination of vision and practicality often results in us taking on a disproportionate amount of responsibility in various causes to Status which so many of us are drawn into. We are deeply concerned about our relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large and are inherent givers. We are generally well-suited to the “inspirational” professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership as well as psychology and counseling. Our strengths are in communication and writing as well as listening. Another article actually described INFJ’s as having a “pleasant conversation style.” We are people who are passionate about helping those in need. We go to great lengths to avoid conflict. We are warm and affirming by nature as well as dedicated, loyal and nurturing. We have a high expectation of ourselves and others and seek long-lasting relationships. (http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/infj)

(More information on INJF’s here: http://introvertspring.com/the-worlds-rarest-personality-infj-type-decoded/)

It is sad that I actually had to search for who I am as a person on the internet because of the emotional and mental damage someone else did to me due to their own instability. I had to take multiple personality tests just to prove to myself that I am who I say I am and I am a good person and my intentions are good – always. In my research, I’ve learned that it’s those of us who are empaths, seek to avoid conflict, put others first, are flexible and easy going, and attempt to keep the peace at all costs are the ones who typically get taken advantage of the most and narcissistic people are drawn to us because we’re easy to manipulate.

I encourage you to take some of these free personality tests if you have even the slightest feeling of guilt or are questioning who you are because of what someone has done or said to you. (Some links are below.)

For those of us who do have good intentions and mean no harm in our relationships, we should always still practice self-reflection. While we are caring, loving, and well-intended people, we are not perfect. If you are convicted about any shortcomings within a relationship, for God’s sake, own it. Own it and make it right. That’s how healthy people handle things. But never take the blame for something that is not your fault.

My definitive conclusion is for those of us who feel any guilt over a broken relationship, are beyond confused as to how things evolved into such chaos, are wondering if we are to blame, and are searching for answers to the dynamics of a situation that is completely foreign to us in order to try to understand it fully, then we are not the problem. People with the problem don’t think they have a problem so they will do no research to fix themselves because they don’t believe they are in need of any fixing.

Here is some information on the personality tests:

The purpose of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality inventory is to make the theory of psychological types described by C. G. Jung understandable and useful in people’s lives. The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment. For more information, visit: http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/

Free personality tests:

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Please share your thoughts and results of your Personality Test in the comments. I would also love to hear if you feel that if you are an INFJ, you’ve been subjected to being taken advantage of too due to your flexible, good nature.


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Drop The Rope!

In a previous blog of mine, “Conflict,” (https://peaceperspectiveblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/11/conflict/) I wrote: “Did you know you have a choice of how to respond to a conflict contrary to your instinctive reactions to participating in it and making it worse? Seems like a silly question, but I think that many of us feel that when conflict arises we must initially fight back at the same level, contribute to the nastiness, and participate in the escalation in order for our viewpoint to be heard. How refreshing to know that we don’t have to do this.”

Before I even heard the term, “drop the rope,” at times, I was already doing it without being aware of the concept.

However, at times I didn’t drop the rope. I felt compelled to continue on with battles filled with utter nonsense. Battles which should have never been battles to begin with and I fought them until the point of mental exhaustion. Years ago, I was completely unaware of the diabolical dynamics of each bizarre encounter I was engaged in. My mind could not, would not, and still does not process the level of insanity of which I had to reason with. Each encounter left me baffled and emotionally drained.

In my futile attempt to comprehend why someone doesn’t understand the basic fundamentals of common sense, common courtesy, and basic human decency, I had an immense desire to do whatever I could to instill logic into an illogical situation. I kept playing till it made me crazy. I couldn’t understand why nothing ever got resolved despite offering every ounce of compromise, peace, and kindness in the spirit of reconciliation and unity.

Then…there came a day when the heavens opened, the light shined and everything became abundantly clear. I stumbled upon a friend’s Facebook post on narcissism and was curious and there it was! The very first article I read told me everything I needed to know and I finally learned what I was dealing with. When that moment hit, I knew once and for all that no matter what I did, what I said, or how I did anything, it was never going to be enough and I’d never win. That is when I learned to “drop the rope.”

In healthy relationships, dropping the rope is easy as neither side desires for a conflict or disagreement to escalate to the point that it threatens a friendship or relationship. Each side attempts to practice an innate self-control and would never overstep boundaries to intentionally hurt the other person. They are well aware that to begin verbally and personally attacking the other person with dialogue that has nothing to do with what is being discussed is completely unacceptable and will no doubt lead to dissension. They understand that whatever is being discussed is certainly not worth jeopardizing a friendship or relationship. Disagreements end when both sides respectfully agree to disagree and the moment is over. Notice I said respectfully agree to disagree. Ending a heated conversation with a series of demands, insults, threats, and punishment is not respectfully agreeing to disagree. It’s bullying.

In healthy relationships, both sides are subconsciously “dropping the rope” because it’s a natural instinct in good, decent people who do not want to fight and understand people are allowed to have a different viewpoint.

However, when you are involved in a conflict or disagreement with a toxic person, it is important that you quickly recognize when you are in a situation that is unresolvable. Not because you are unwilling to resolve issues, but the other party is unwilling. Their main goal is control and they refuse to respectfully accept your point of view while demonstrating authority over you.

So, what exactly is dropping the rope? It’s a beautiful mental tool to utilize when conflicts arise and how to keep yourself peaceful. Think of the old-school game of “tug of war.” If one team should “drop the rope” in the middle of the game, what happens? The game is over. In the case of tug of war, the team that dropped the rope loses. However, the exact opposite is the case when you drop the rope in any conflict. The person who drops the rope wins!

The concept of “dropping the rope” simply means you refuse to continue to engage in an argument that is bouncing back and forth with no end in sight. You assess the situation and determine that is not resolving and getting too heated. Rather than escalating the conflict further by continuing to contribute to it, you calmly diffuse the situation by changing the subject or ending the argument altogether. You do your part to achieve peace for both you and the other party.

Notice I said your goal is to achieve peace for both you and the other party. It’s not meant to be a demonstration of your dominance over the disagreement. When done correctly and lovingly, it is good for both parties. However, with an unhealthy person, even this will look like conflict as they manipulate your good intentions to peacefully end an argument with accusing you of something more sinister. This is confirmation that you are in a no win situation and now dropping the rope not only means ending the argument but departing from their company.

So yes! You are winning because by dropping the rope, you have just achieved peace for you regardless of whether or not the other party does their part in dropping the rope! You have sent a clear message that you wish to no longer engage in a conversation going nowhere and your relationship and your peace are more important that proving a point. You are wise enough to recognize the unreasonable nature of the other party to not accept opposing views and you are doing yourself a huge favor by ending your part in it.

If you dropping the rope and walking away for your peace makes them think they won, so be it! Make it a goal to get to the point where winning means you are secure in your convictions, you no longer need to provide extensive explanations for your beliefs and peace is your ultimate goal.

I wish I had paid more attention to the many red flags warning me things were not right long ago instead of justifying them. I didn’t understand the complexity of what I was dealing with and either tried to reason my way to resolution with each unique scenario to no avail or complied (submitted) for the sake of peace. Dropping the rope is not complying or submitting, it’s recognizing you’re in a no-win situation and your peace is more important.

So my friends, whether you are involved with a narcissist or merely stating your political opinions, when discussions begin to turn into verbal and personal attacks, everything you say is twisted into something you never intended and is now being used against, you are unable to defend your stance or attempt to shut down the most mind-boggling incomprehensible dialogue, do yourself a huge favor and drop the rope!


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An Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year!

January 1st. It doesn’t matter what year it is. This is the day we are all prompted to make our New Year’s Resolutions. A cognizant awareness along with a list of criteria that will better ourselves in the new year.

Resolutions are done with great and determined intentions. At the time we create them, we are absolutely 100% sure that, “This is the year I’m going to stick to them!” That’s good. That’s tenacity. It’s certainly better than the alternative of giving up before we even started. It shows we are desiring growth in whatever area we feel we need to improve. It also shows our humility in admitting that we are always in need of improvement. Resolutions signify new beginnings and perhaps making some necessary changes in your life all in the spirit of improving ourselves!

Flip the calendar several pages. It’s March. That excited feeling of accomplishing great things on January 1st has been forgotten. We’ve returned to the same habitual lifestyle that we had all intentions of changing and improving. Our resolutions turned into failed attempts, lack of willpower, and laziness. We are deflated and perhaps even feel like a failure.

That is why I no longer make resolutions. I don’t need a calendar or a special day to motivate me to better myself. Here’s the great thing. We have 365 days each and every year to do this. Yes, it’s true! We can better ourselves every single day. And, if we fail one day, the next day is filled with just as much promise to try again. We don’t have to wait an entire year to commit to bettering ourselves. There is no holiday needed and no milestone to wait for. Simply, commit to live a life of intention every single day.

These intentions are different for everyone. Some may intend to commit to being more thoughtful, kind, or selfless. While others are striving to lose weight, eat healthier, or tackle their finances more responsibly.  Regardless of your personal intention, find something that you are in need of improving and focus on it every day.

So, if you are going to make a New Year’s Resolution this year, make only one. Strive to live intentionally every day of your life and forgive yourself if you fall short of your expectations because tomorrow is always a new day!

Happy New Year – Happy New You!


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The Repercussions of Denial and How to be Free From it

Denial will:

  • Allow you to continue to stay in a pit of darkness indefinitely.
  • Rob you of your peace.
  • Promote a delusional way of thinking where you believe your own lies and justify unjustifiable situations.
  • Eventually cause you to self-destruct.

Denial will not:

  • Bring resolution to any problem.
  • Change the facts of a situation.
  • Improve your life in any way.

Are you using denial as a coping mechanism? Denial falsely allows you to believe that if you don’t accept and deal with an unpleasant or painful situation, you don’t have to accept the truth and reality of it and therefore, it doesn’t exist. You blindly go about your life pretending everything is okay when it’s not masking your pain with the facade of joy and peace. This results in living a life of deception and will catch up with you as deception opens the door to more pain and difficulty to take root in your life.

By not facing truth and reality, the only thing you are accomplishing is holding yourself prisoner in your very own jail. You alone hold the key to escape out of your prison.

Soon you will see that avoiding whatever it is you don’t want to accept and burying it further and further inside you will only manifest into dysfunction in all other areas of your life. The more you prolong acceptance, the more detrimental denial is in your own life.

It will manifest into your mental state, your physical state, your relationships, your marriage, your home, your family and your overall peace.

Why not consider taking a new approach? There is a way out. Simply accept what is and face it head on!

Easier said than done, I agree. But once you begin by taking the very first step toward acknowledging that the denial must end and that you must now learn to cope with what placed you there to begin with, you are on your way to freedom! My advice comes from personal experiences resulting in many successful final outcomes motivating me to share it with you.

How? Here are a few easy and doable steps to freedom:

  1. You cannot do anything to improve your circumstances if you act in pride. Refusing help, guidance, truth, and reality will only keep you right where you are forever. Give yourself ample time to process the difficult situation, but do not stay there! As you begin to drop your pride, you will find that you are now able to humbly ask for help. As you do this, the main focus should be your freedom and revelation that the weight of the issue on your shoulders that you have been carrying for way too long will now be exchanged with a healthier way of coping with the problem. It won’t change the situation you have to deal with it, but it will drastically improve your quality of life as you navigate and accept the truth and reality of what you’ve been denying in a more objective and healthy manner. It will make a huge difference.

Proverbs 16:18 – Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.

  1. Seek wisdom. It’s amazing what we learn when we seek and thirst for wisdom and are ready to grow and be tested. The scales on our eyes are peeled away and light appears in the form of truth and understanding. Solicit advice from those who tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear – those are the people who truly care about your well-being. Those that speak with such boldness do it with your very best interest at heart, otherwise, they would not put themselves in such a vulnerable position of the possibility of your rejection and anger. This is a sign of true friendship – hold onto it dearly. It means they love you and want what’s best for you at any cost. This is where your humility will be tested. Do you accept the advice or do you resist? If you’ve checked your pride before soliciting advice, you’ll be sure to learn, consider new approaches, see things in a different light and be on your way to better understanding and dealing with your difficult situation. You’ll also be able to remove all emotional pain associated with it and cope merely based on facts and solutions and hit it head on. This is the difference between being a prisoner and being free.

Proverbs 27:5-6  – Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 4:6-7  6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.  7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

  1. Now that you have dropped your pride and searched for wisdom, you are on your way to freedom. Be assured that God has recognized your obedience thus far and is orchestrating all things to work out for your good as He works behind the scenes to send blessings your way. As you pray, remember to come boldly yet humbly before Him and ask Him to shield you with his protection, make a way where there seems no way, and guide you on the path that is His will for you as you allow Him to use you as His vessel in whatever it is He wants to accomplish through you in your trial.

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

  1. Last but not least, wait for His timing. This is where He does a work in you and refines you like silver. He works on your patience, your trust, your faith, and your self-control. You cannot rush His timing. The level of your faith, trust and obedience will show God the true condition of your heart and whether or not you are ready to be promoted and blessed. Do not give up if you do not see instant results. The longer your situation lingers, the more you have to learn. Resolution only comes when God sees you have learned all the lessons He wanted to teach you. A willing and submissive heart will learn these lessons much quicker than those who stubbornly and defiantly give up before the lesson is learned. A failed lesson will only result in further testing.

Isaiah 40:31 – But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Zechariah 13:9 – And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested.

Be blessed as you accept what is and live in freedom!


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Rejected Reconciliation – What next?

This is a post that I’ve been looking to find somewhere else. I’ve been searching for answers to this burning question I’ve had for years: What if you know you’ve done everything in your power to resolve a conflict and still receive brutal rejection from a bully who wants to control even the outcome of a reconciliation?

I’ve sat through countless sermons on forgiveness and reconciliation. I’ve read God’s Word and am quite knowledgeable about His instructions on the matter. I honestly know it like the back of my hand. I fully understand it yet throughout each teaching I’ve heard, I always sit there on the edge of my seat, waiting for the part that instructs you on what to do when you’ve done all those things and are still up against a brick wall with someone.

That is the sermon I want to hear. That is the blog I want to read. That is the information I am searching for. I want to hear it from someone else. I want to read it from another perspective.

I have my thoughts on what to do in this scenario and since I can’t find anything on this topic, I’m going to go ahead answer my own question.

So, I am a bible believing Christian. I believe we are to be obedient to God’s Word in everything. I do my best to try to follow his Word. I am a Christian. That doesn’t translate to I am perfect. At least not for me. Some Christians, however, may feel this way, thus giving the rest of us a bad reputation.

I’ve learned a lot throughout my journeys. I was not always in tune with everything in God’s Word, but I always had deep solid convictions which always kept me on the right path. I’ve made mistakes but always came back to what I knew to be true about being obedient to God.

So, back to my question. What happens when you’ve done everything biblically correct? You’ve extended grace and mercy in such a way that you consciously put your own painful feelings aside from someone who has hurt you so deeply it has left a permanent scar on your brain because you know deep down inside that you are to do what is right in God’s eyes – not your own eyes. Pushing through your damaged psyche at the works of someone else’s hands and yet finding the grace to still reach out and attempt to wipe the slate clean in the spirit of peace and you are still met with a brand new fueled retaliation, an even more controlling and condescending tone from a verbally abusive bully.

Here’s my answer. It’s not me, it’s them. Plain and simple. I’ve wracked my brain over and over again trying to find answers as to why and how and everything in between. It’s very very simple. It was never about me.

Someone who refuses true peace and resolution from a humble and open heart clearly has some deep rooted issues of their own and it is no reflection on me. Someone who would rather defiantly hold their ground and refuses to compromise in any way as a demonstration of power shows how weak one really is. One who has a philosophy of “my way or no way” and equates peace to I rather be alone than abide by your stupid rules of mutual respect and kindness ends up on an island and a very lonely life. When allowed, bitterness will consume you and drive your reckless decisions and lead you to self-destruction.

Pride goes before a fall my friends and I am witnessing it before my very eyes. While it’s quite sad watching as someone continually makes poor decisions with a rebellious spirit of “I’ll do what I want!” it is so necessary and important to remove yourself as part of the equation because it has nothing to do with you. Stop taking other people’s poor behavior personally. You are not the issue. You never were. EVER!

With each ugly encounter I endured, I began to see more and more that it was never about me. With each act of humility I demonstrated toward peace that was brutally rejected, I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel. With each act of kindness I attempted from my heart that was brutally dismissed and mocked, the light became brighter and brighter.

If I fought, acted in the same manner, stooped to the hellish level of ugly I had been provoked to do, I would never know the depth of the issue that I had been dragged into. I would be part of the problem. But I never was, because I never stooped that low.

It took my acts of utmost humility for me to understand exactly what I was dealing with all along. Had I not had such humility in my efforts, I may have never understood the complexity of the darkness I was dealing with.

MAN! That statement above is so powerful and as I typed, it just effortlessly flowed out of me, it is a revelation of which I am so incredibly in awe of! It’s the answer to all my questions!

The reason I know this for sure is because I see the polarizing differences in our lives. My life is filled with blessing galore. Outside of a nasty conflict that we never wanted, tried to avoid and resolve for four years and never have been involved in anything even resembling the darkness we encountered with someone who has a continual flow of chaos and turmoil in their life, we are blessed with a very stable, peaceful life. We are not only blessed in the worldly realm but spiritually as well, which is most important. My family, children, and marriage all have God’s hands in them and that alone is proof that humility and obedience get rewarded.

It took me a long time to get here and I’m finally here. Healing. Not healed, because it’s a process but I’m on my way with a renewed mind.

Now, I want to take the lessons I learned and I want to desperately help all of you out there who have been wounded by mean-spirited people or by narcissistic sociopaths, and tell you it was never about you. Don’t allow anyone to change who you are because they have bitterness and hate in their heart. Don’t allow anyone to control, demean, belittle, verbally abuse and bully you – stand up and have a voice even if you are standing alone.

It is possible to be graceful and merciful and obedient to God while still standing up and demanding respect for yourself. Never stoop to a level that is beneath you. That’s on them, not you. God will vindicate the righteous – those that are obedient to his instructions.

Humility and obedience will get rewarded. Have patience for it to be revealed in your life as you continue to live in this manner. Any small kind act that is difficult for you to do toward someone who is not deserving is an act of humility and God will see it. You will be rewarded for it if you have a heart for doing what is right and not doing what you want and feel.

I am living proof of one who has walked in obedience when it was difficult and am seeing God’s blessing throughout my life. His promises are real and true!

Author’s Request: I’d really like to get more traffic on this blog and really need your assistance. If you find this blog to be helpful and insightful, please consider sharing it to your Facebook/Twitter, or other social media. If any of you are members of Facebook pages that deal with this topic, please post a link to this blog so I can reach more people. Thank you in advance for helping me attempt to help others who have been or are going through painful times in their lives.

Psalm 135:14
For the LORD will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants.

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23
One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.

James 4:6
God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.


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Attempting Peace with a Narcissist

Right off the bat, forgive me for using a title for this new post that is an oxymoron. It’s a contradiction of words. Peace and Narcissist do not belong in the same sentence. It’s like they need their own paragraphs…perhaps even their own chapters; that’s how far away peace and narcissist are from each other.

How do you bring reason to an unreasonable situation? How do you insert logic into an illogical mind? How do you begin to rationalize with someone so irrational?

Encounters with a narcissist are dizzyingly incomprehensible. Each and every encounter leaves your mind baffled and confused as it repeatedly asks, “What just happened?”

How can one strategically attempt to craft the correct words and actions, pre-planning every step of the way so as not to offend or anger someone who believes their land of delusion is reality and still be brutally shot down because it was once again not sufficient enough to satisfy their domination over you?

You finally think you’ve arrived at the precisely chosen peaceful, loving, merciful walk-on-eggshell verbiage in order to approach an unapproachable person for no other goal than to try to resolve situations which derived from absolute nonsense to begin with provoked and instigated by an overbearing controlling bully with a wacked ideology, only to be met with a new round of more demands, more belittling, more demeaning, and more control.

I’m really not that slow of a learner but why don’t I know this yet? Ugh. I think this time I finally get it.

It’s not because I’m unintelligent. It’s because of how I do life. I give others another chance. I give others the benefit of the doubt. I try to find the good in the bad. It’s the mentality by which I live by.

Here’s the revelation I finally get. I am trying to apply social graces, civility, normality, logic, and rationale to someone who doesn’t grasp the most basic common sense behaviors and norms that stable, healthy members of society live by. Whew! That’s a relief. I get it!

Yes, I get it. However…I still can’t process it and it’s still dizzyingly incomprehensible to me.

Keep on doing what is right and that includes removing unresolvable toxic relationships once and for all.

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