I was all geared up to write an amazing blog on peace. I had a vision of what it was going to look and sound like. I typed away, I deleted. I typed again, I deleted. I exited out and saved it for later. I began again, I deleted. I had nothing. I was completely blank. That is very unlike me. I am never at a loss for words – ever.
When I began this blog, thoughts flowed through me at such an incredible pace, I was thankful remembering that I was once clocked at typing 98 wpm so I knew my fingers were able to keep up with my mind. I created lists that contained lists within them of all the things I wanted to share my perspective on. It was an explosion of information and thoughts.
But not recently. I had nothing. I was all tapped out. And I know exactly why. My mind is not and has not been at peace due to some awful outside influences which have been sent to distract me. I haven’t been in the His word, I am not seeking His wisdom and my head has been filled with Satan’s lies and confusion. Satan knows my greatest goal is raising Godly children, having a Godly marriage, and living a life in obedience to God’s word. He knows that I know that if I do these things, God will provide all my blessings, including true peace. He’s thrown many things at us in the past 10 years and now he’s using yet another tactic to tear our family apart in the hopes we will just give up and give into his dark kingdom.
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
….when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
A great friend of mine always told me that when she gave me advice, it didn’t come from her but from the Holy Spirit. I was so thankful to have her give me truth in love and turn my thinking around. I admired her for giving credit to the Holy Spirit for her anointed words and they helped changed my life during some very difficult times. She was truly Godsent. As I’ve grown closer to God, surrendered to His will, meditated and sought wisdom from His word, I have also felt this anointing, mostly when speaking to my family. I don’t feel as comfortable sharing such deep and intimate wisdom with others who may not be ready to receive nor willing. But I feel that it is my role as a mother and wife to feed my family wisdom through God’s word. Many times, I stop and realize that I am being led by God with my words and am in awe of the wisdom that comes out of my mouth. This is not a prideful moment of me knowing it all, but it is a revelation of God guiding me with His wisdom. This wisdom that flows through me has proven to be real and true resulting in my children walking in righteousness and our family and my marriage being solid and whole despite everything sent to tear it apart.
Spiritual warfare is real and has been attacking our family for nearly 10 years. It is an unseen entity that tries to infiltrate a happy home, filled with love, unity, and righteousness and tries to destroy it through disease, turmoil, emotional pain, and people. I have seen it happen to my family and thankfully, we are a strong, convicted family and, by the grace of God, we continue to survive Satan’s attacks. If we didn’t live in obedience and surrender to Him, this wouldn’t be the case. I’ve watched it destroy families who are not as solid in their convictions and their obedience to God and they are left with nothing but devastation despite the façade they skillfully present.
If we let it, it can and it will consume us too. We must resist the temptation of Satan’s suggestions to participate in anything that is not of God. We know better. Satan knows he cannot get to my children, my marriage, and my family, so he is doing everything he can and using individuals who are spiritually weak to attack us on a continual basis. They are simply pawns in Satan’s game and are unaware of the stronghold he has over them. It’s quite sad seeing someone you once loved so deceived and unaware of the role they are playing in Satan’s kingdom. All we can do is pray for their deliverance and only God can do that.
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you
The reason I began this blog was because my mind was filled with such revelations on so many issues and writing about them and sharing them was very therapeutic for me. I’ve been stifled for so long by so many, not able to tell my truth and I’ve allowed others to paint a false picture of me and who I am. This blog is my truth.
When I write, I feel like I am removing something tangible from my body and placing it somewhere else, feeling relief that it is no longer inside me. I know that this is the only way I am going to achieve peace — by getting my truth out of me. I’ve come to the conclusion that true peace may never occur in our situation and know now that the peace we strived for as a family, is unattainable despite our efforts. That alone needs to be our compass for what peace and resolution look like in this particular circumstance and we must accept, “It is what it is!”
Unfortunately, it’s not the kind of peace that is defined in Webster’s Dictionary and the kind we would ultimately desire but sometimes peace is accepting the situation despite the outcome. It’s finally letting go and moving on acknowledging that it is out of our hands and a door has been closed, locked, and the key is thrown away.
Acceptance of an outcome you did not desire is a difficult thing. I had written all these wonderful adjectives describing peace: serenity, tranquility, contentment, etc. in my first attempt to write a blog on peace. While I completely agree that those adjectives contribute to my definition of what true peace is, they are only attainable under normal circumstances. Sometimes taking our peace back is as simple as acceptance despite the outcome. Ideally, resolution, reconciliation and the removal of strife equates to peace to most people, but not to everyone. When left in the wake of someone else’s delusional idea of peace (i.e., without resolution and continued strife), there are no other avenues to explore for peace other than acceptance.
This began as a blog on writers block. I guess I just wrote a blog on peace….without me even knowing it. Thank you, Holy Spirt.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.